The Four States of Being

Below is Chapter One from my e-book, The Four States of Being. To get your free copy of the book, click here. If you’d already read the book, feel free to share your comments and insights below.

copyright 2013 Moongazer, Inc.

At any given time, a human being dwells in one of four states of being. These states of being are the supporting force behind people’s external results and, to a large degree, their happiness. I used to call these states of being “energetic states” and, then, for a time, I called them “states of consciousness.” You can think of them also as states of awareness because they have to do with the lens through which you see a situation, an obstacle or life in general.

You are probably in a different state of being for each area of your life, but some people have one predominant energy that seems to permeate all areas of their lives. Your states of being are formed through your life experiences, what others told you was true, watching what happened to other people and what you learned was easy — as well as what you learned was difficult. They have a lot to do with what you believe is possible for you. They are formed out of your subconscious mind. For that reason, shifting out of a state of being can prove to be a bit tricky.

Regardless of how they apply to you, you will be able to identify with one or more of these states of being, and all people have dwelled in each of them at least once:


Waiting is the state of being of stagnation or inertia. It is the energy of getting nowhere. It is the energy of staying put, procrastination, non-commitment or indecision — whatever approach works best to keep you in the status quo. When things aren’t coming together for someone in a Waiting state, their response is to wait for a better time or wait until they have more information or feel more “ready.” Waiting isn’t about timing, though. It is really about intense fear of having what you say you want.


Striving is the state of being of trying but not quite having. A person in a Striving state is very action-oriented. They take so much action, in fact, that they can become burned out if they aren’t careful. They can’t understand why it seems so difficult to get what they want when they are working so hard to make it happen. Striving isn’t about bad luck, though. It is really about control and a lack of faith.


Wanting is the energy of neediness. The Wanting spectrum is quite wide. It can range from minor discontent to very painful desperation and panic. People in a Wanting state often are highly motivated to get things shifted because this can be an acutely painful state of being to dwell in. If you are in a Waiting or Striving state long enough, eventually you will end up in a Wanting state. Wanting isn’t about actually needing the thing you think will make you happier, though. It is really about a warped perspective, and the idea that something outside of you causes you to feel something.  


Having is the energy of trust, knowing and confidence that what you want will be yours. Having is effortless. It is a state of allowing what is to be. It’s a state of faith and trust that what you want will eventually come to fruition. It’s pure contentment, regardless of what is going on outside of you and regardless of external circumstances. Having isn’t about positive thinking, though. It is really about limitless beliefs, high self-worth, and deep faith.

Obviously, anyone would rather be in a Having state than the other three. You can dwell there predominantly if you are willing to get out of your own way. I have done it myself for long stretches of time — I was once in Having for two straight years. But, without becoming vulnerable, experiencing growth through change and desiring something better, life wouldn’t be a very rich experience, so it’s not likely you will dwell there forever. To do that would mean you either are avoiding things you’re afraid of (or that trigger past emotional pain) or you have isolated yourself from people or external conditions that cause you to feel upset or uncomfortable.

Shifting to Having can be incredibly easy or it can be quite painful, and realizing you are choosing misery when something else is available to you can be the most painful part of it all. I do not believe in forcing joy, and I certainly don’t believe in hastening your shift by manipulating your psyche.

A mentor once gave me the analogy of the butterfly emerging from the chrysalis. You might see a butterfly begin to emerge from the cocoon and want to tug on it and pull it out. You may think you are helping by doing this, but, actually, you are harming it. A butterfly needs to struggle as it pushes through so it can thrive once it has freed itself. This is the natural way of things.

This is what life is like, and this is why it is important to let go of the thought that we know what is best for someone else. I did that for a long time with family and friends. It’s all about judgment rather than being about helping, and it’s not a spiritual way to live.

It is why I can offer you suggestions and insights on how to shift, but you should not judge yourself if you are in Waiting, Striving or Wanting for a time. Let your life unfold naturally; it is all a part of your journey, and it’s all okay. Download the rest of the book.

Have you read The Four States of Being? I’d love to read your comments, insights and suggestions below.


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