There is a general grumbling among Truth Guides that Guru-Stars have certain traits that infuriate us or, at least, drive us crazy.* (And my guess is that there are certain traits about Truth Guides that Guru-Stars can’t stand either.)
After having been through a promotion partnership with a Guru-Star that damaged my business, and having Guru-Star clients piss me off to no end, I’ve come to a pretty bold conclusion: Guru-Stars and Truth Guides in business situations are like cats and dogs. There is nothing wrong with either one; they just don’t mix.
And as with cats and dogs, everyone gets along quite well when there is a healthy distance. When they get too close, a lot of hissing and barking and growling tends to occur.
(Of course, we’ve all seen the adorable photos floating around social media of the easy-going hound who lies there patiently as a kitten kneads his back side with her razor-sharp claws. In other words, there are exceptions.)
If I had a nickel for every time a Truth Guide told me the following, I’d be very rich …
“So and so connected me with a woman who is at my same success level, but when we spoke on the phone, the whole conversation was about her. Not only did she never even ask me about my business, when I offered the information, she told me she just didn’t know if she could share my work with her audience, because they are elite and very special people.”
Recently someone I was to help develop a strategy for as a favor canceled our appointment with an hour’s notice (not an emergency, that’s different), and then let me know what times would be convenient for her in rescheduling. When I sent her my policy on last-minute cancellations, but offered to make an exception and reschedule, she responded by getting snarky.
Oh dear. In Truth Guide world, we don’t demand that people cater to us. Instead, we say, “I know this is asking a lot, but would you consider rescheduling? I completely understand if you’re not willing to.”
Receiving her email, I became positively incensed and I have to admit, went a little crazy with rage for a moment. I felt totally devalued by her response. After considering every option, including the irrational and mean, an awareness broke through my rage: Oh Beth, that’s not it. She isn’t deliberately devaluing you. She is a Guru-Star just being herself.
It was a classic Guru-Star / Truth Guide misalignment. These two archetypes are like chalk and cheese. Like oil and water. Like … cats and dogs.
Once a Guru-Star even emailed me a few years back to tell me she had decided to steal my work. (I think she thought she was being super professional by informing me, or perhaps that because she is God, I should be grateful.) When I tried to communicate with her and come up with a mutually-beneficial outcome (like a royalty), she told me, “Everyone wants something from me. I just don’t have time right now to talk to you. It’s just not that important.”
I was incredulous. You stole my sacred work. That’s really important to ME.
Obviously not every Guru-Star is an unethical ego maniac or rude in canceling appointments. Far from it. And not every Truth Guide meets the giving, kind stereotype we often see.
Whatever each person’s traits, these two archetypes just don’t go well together.
They make horrible joint venture partners, and they are misaligned as clients and mentors. (I could cite hundreds of examples I’ve heard over the years of people who have hired misaligned mentors. It can be quite a costly mistake.)
These situations can be wholly avoided by following a bigger piece of advice: if you’re a cat, be a cat and hang with cats. And if you’re a dog, be a dog and hang out all day at the dog park if you want. But don’t expect to hang out together and have things turn out well.
Determining someone’s archetype (your best guess) before you enter into any kind of business arrangement will save you loads of headaches. This includes who you hire, who hires you, business partnerships and promotional arrangements.
You’ll know much better what you’re getting into, and you’ll be able to make the choices that are right for you and your business. You’ll even be able to understand them and communicate better if you do choose to serve them or partner up.
I’d love hear your thoughts about alignment between the archetypes. And have you experienced uncomfortable – or infuriating – situations yourself? What annoys you or pisses you off about other archetypes? Sharing your thoughts in an open and honest manner will help you 1) See you’re not alone, and 2) Help you see how to relate to others in a way that works better for both of you.
Beth A. Grant is a writer, speaker, marketing strategist and thought leader who helps you be yourself in business, in love, in life. She blogs at www.truthandconsciousness.com.
*If you don’t know what the heck these terms mean, you can learn more by requesting your free Archetype Alignment Kit here.