Do you appreciate honesty or do you prefer it when people tell you what you want to hear?
If you appreciate honestly, I have some truth to share with you.
A client asked me a question last week that I'm sure has been on your mind a time or two.
She said, "Can you tell me the truth about what my chances are? All I see everywhere is how coaches are struggling. Is this true?"
"Yes," I said. "Most are struggling, I would say."
"Well, why?" she asked. "And how does a person thrive?"
I talked through things with her for awhile but then realized that it really boils down to one thing:
The people who struggle want someone else to lead them. Their approach is, "Just tell me what to do."
The people who "make it big" are willing to lead themselves to their success.
Successful entrepreneurs are non-conformists. Look at any successful entrepreneur in any industry — from technology magnates to musicians to inventors. They own their own businesses because they don't want to be like everyone else. In the work-for-someone-else world, they felt like a square peg being shoved into a round hole. They longed to be free — and to be themselves.
So why do so many heart-centered entrepreneurs think the answer to success is copying someone else or hiring someone to tell them what to do?
They reverse-engineer people's talks, buy a tool with a million-dollar promise, analyze and copy their web pages, and emulate their marketing/engagement choices — and then wonder why nobody is buying.
How could this possibly be the answer — to market yourself in someone else's truth?
Meanwhile, you think there is something wrong with you or you're doing something wrong. The only thing you're doing wrong is thinking the answer to your success lies outside of you. You are in misalignment with the money because what you are doing is in misalignment with YOU.
Recently, I launched a free coaching video series. And I know a lot of people watching the videos are looking at the web pages I created and are going to copy me. They're going to say, "She used pink lettering. That must work better than red like most people use. I'm going to try that!"
Want to know why I used pink lettering in my headlines? Because I LIKE PINK. Yes, it's for such a deep reason as that. I thought it looked "purty."
Do you know why I said what I said in my free training videos? Because that's what I wanted to say. There was no script or particular way that I thought if I said it, it would get more people to feel compelled to buy from me later. There are people who do that, but the thought of me doing that makes me want to barf. (By the way, I tried it last year; no one responded. Of course they didn't — I wasn't being myself and they could sense I had an agenda.)
Are you tired of looking for the magic answer from someone who promises you a magic solution? Doesn't it get exhausting trying to "figure it out"?
Have you embraced your inner weirdo yet? It's so freeing!
Have you chosen to state your beliefs clearly without worrying about what other people think? Like what I'm doing right now. Even though I know some of you aren't going to like what I have to say. It's okay. Not every kid on the playground is going to like me. I gave up on that in the 5th grade.
Have you asked yourself before you start marketing something, "If I were going to totally be myself, what would I want to say? How would I choose to communicate that in a way that feels right to me?"
There is a learning curve in starting a business or leaping to the next level, sure. You'll need to learn a new skill set and get out of your comfort zone.
But unless you are willing to be your own leader, to follow your heart and be willing to tell people who think they know what's right for you that something doesn't feel like "you," I will do you the favor today of telling you the TRUTH: You are going to continue to struggle and strive. Because your success does not lie in someone else's truth.
However, if you are willing to be YOU, do the work, and explore what that means and how it fits into your business, the sky is the limit. Really.
Feel free to leave a comment below. If you think others might benefit from this blog post, I'd sure appreciate it if you'd share it. Thanks.